Once again, I’ve taken to writing because it is where I find my outlet in life. I question whether this is an appropriate venue, but in the end, this is the exact reason I began my blog, seven years ago: to express my thoughts. I never expected people to actually read what I wrote, so I never considered the appropriateness of situations like I am faced with today.

My aunt died this morning at 7:05 EST.

As you can imagine, my family and I are pretty destroyed. We all knew it was coming, but nevertheless, the abruptness of her passing has caught me off guard.

Then again, I have a feeling my aunt knew exactly what she was doing. She knew her time was coming, she had been able to experience her final adventures, and she absolutely did not want to put her family and loved ones through the stress of a final “death watch.” She made it quick in order to save all of us that final bit of sadness. In her own way, she was doing what she deemed best for all of us.

The ironic part? I think my subconscious knew what was happening. I am one of those individuals that can sleep all night and anywhere. Put me on a park bench in the middle of Times Square and I’ll still be able to sleep through the night. I guess I am one of the lucky ones in that regard. However, I shot out of bed this morning at 2:30am Colorado time, which is like 4:30am on the east coast. I looked around, confused and dazed, wondering why I had woken up. At the time, I assumed that it was nerves that I wouldn’t wake up with my alarm this morning (I was supposed to head up to the mountains with friends for a day of skiing). In retrospect, I think the back of my brain knew that my aunt was in her final stages of life….and it wanted to let me know.

Cancer won this battle, and in the end, my aunt’s body was what it took away from me. However, I find a lot of solace in the fact that my aunt believed in reincarnation. I know that the world just gained a beautiful hawk, soaring over the mountains and soaking up the magnificent view from above.