I was a Christmas engagement bride! What about you?
Did you get engaged over the winter holidays? It was just over one year ago on Christmas Eve of 2011 that Stephen popped the question. I have been engaged for more than one year! I remember a surge of excitement last Christmas – I couldn’t wait to marry the best guy I have ever met.
Lots of things have changed in my life since then. I graduated from my Master of Journalism program. I started a new job. I started wedding planning. My life became incredibly stressful with so many new changes, but one thing was for sure – I am excited to share the rest of my life with Stephen.
Here are the top 5 things I learned since Christmas Eve 2011:
1) Weddings are a compromise. People will start off saying they don’t care how you plan your wedding, as long as you are happy. This is most likely a lie. Everyone has an opinion and people like to share their opinions. And yes, people will think your ideas are stupid. Listen to their opinions, see if they are valid, and then stand up for yourself. Finally, make sure your fiance and you are on the same page so together, you can fend off people who try to undermine your decisions.
2) Marriage preparation classes are helpful. It made me realize that Stephen and I are ultimately different people from different family backgrounds and upbringings. We won’t agree on everything, but that’s okay. Marriage preparation also taught me to set boundaries for my relationship, set aside time for us to just BE with each other, and to always, always continue learning about your partner. Never stop.
3) It’s okay to feel overwhelmed. There were times that I was overwhelmed with the magnitude of my decision to spend the rest of my life with one person. What if I screw it up? What if we don’t make it? What if I am not ready? What does being ready even mean? Marriage is a huge deal to most people, and it’s a big decision for me. It’ll be the bravest thing I will ever do, but I can’t wait to do it!
4) What you like will change. I was so convinced I would like a lace dress. Lace. Lace. Lace. Then I tried on this flowy, simple gown with no lace and I cried. “It’s so you,” my friend said. So I bought it. Another example is that I was convinced I wanted Seasons in the Park as my venue. Now it’s SFU Diamond Alumni Centre . And you know what? I think I kind of like it better now. Your guest list will change. Your Pinterest board will change. A lot of things will change before the big day.
5) The wedding is just one day out of the rest of your life together. It really is. You need to figure out where you’re going to live (if you don’t live together), how you’ll share finances, who will wash the dishes and who will cook, and so much more. This stuff is kind of more top-priority than everything else, like centrepieces and who will be the emcee. Don’t make every conversation between you and your fiance about the wedding. Rather, talk about the life you will build together.
I feel so much wiser in just over one year! And in less than 9 months, I will be married! If you just got engaged over the holidays (I know a few of my friends did), congratulations and I’m sure you’ll learn so much during the wedding planning process this year.
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